Semplice Humdrum

Hurling Up some Courage for a Post

2011-02-02T00:09:00.001+08:00

Funny I should be posting when it's a busy busy time for celebration (since it's still early, busy time for house cleaning perhaps?)

.. It's not that I have anything to worry about, nobody reads my blog ^^

To make up for the hiatus (due to excessive low self-esteem reading my friends' blogs, which are... Simply brilliant), I shall now crap about myself -- A little something I'd like people to know but won't bring it up during casual conversations.

Let's see.

Chinese New Year. I've been subtle about this, but honestly, I don't mind the lack of atmosphere. Walks down the memory lane reminded me only of the never-ceasing noise that the adults seem to like very very much.

Reunion.. It's not like we're living too far away, is it? I'm sure I'll be curling up and eating my foot one day when I'm older about this, but for now this is this.

Firecrackers. I'm not much into law-abiding -- not much otherwise either -- but can anybody tell me what's so fun about popping your ears/nerves/heart out with the sprinkly explosive stuff?

Chinese new year songs -- the final straw that killed the camel. I need earplugs.

Ah yes, the buoyant purchasing of new year clothes. I hate shopping. Gah, hope I'm not jinxing myself as my mother always say, "not yet not yet~"really, clothes? Yeah, they protect from nudity and keep you warm warm, but to buy new ones every new year? I wish I celebrate Thanksgiving.

House-cleaning. Not something I would complain about - hey, somebody has to do the job yeah? I just happen to be a tweeny bit unlucky this year, my kakak balik kampung already. My parents aren't making it easier either. It's always fun and easy when you're the one handing out orders right?

Well, that's it. Nothing much I can say. If I have the heart and time though, I'd like to post some more. Hope this will be a stepping stone for me to continue talking to myself in electronic form :)

Signing off meekly,
Abby

Another Abbie?

2010-09-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I wrote two versions of the Abbie story, found one after a lot of rummaging in my old files. *shrugs* I might as well post it here up on this rusty blog.

***

“Sarah, what are they doing in the rain?” I asked my dear but bored friend, looking out through the tinted window.

“Soccer, Abbie,” Sarah answered in her most pleasing tone, but she couldn’t hide her dismay of staying here in this room with me. She kept on banging the dolls Father gave me onto the heavily carpeted floor as if I couldn’t see. I didn’t blame her. After all, it was my fault she was stuck here in this boring room with me.

I sighed, sitting by the window and just watching the children having the time of their life while Sarah and I just rot here. One of the boys kicked the ball high up into the pouring sky, passing the ball to another boy waiting eagerly at the other side of the field. The sight gave me an idea.

“Sarah, you wanna play?” I asked with a small smile. An annoyed what-now look appeared on her face before being washed over by feigned interest. I ignored her and pointed to the garden outside my house.

“But it’s still raining,” Sarah protested mildly.

I shook my head. “Come with me,” I said and pulled her up, dragging her all the way from my room, the stairs, the kitchen, and finally, to the backdoor. She motioned to me my Mother, to which I assured her that she must be resting in her room. Then we were out into the wet garden. The rain couldn’t penetrate through the un-kept branches there, but it was still wet nonetheless.

“Abbie, what are you doing?” Sarah asked fearfully, as I cracked open the little gate to the garden. “We’re going to play to play a special hide-and-seek in this garden. You’ll hide and I’ll seek. But this time, you have to go out from the other side of the garden. If I manage to catch you before you can reach the other side of the garden, I win. If I can’t, well, you win. Understand?” I explained. Albeit unwillingly, Sarah nodded.

“Alright, I’ll count to ten,” I hid my face in my arms under a big willow and started counting the numbers. Sarah, although reluctant, ran towards the deeper part of the garden. Her footsteps were as clear as knocks on a hollow tree bark to me in this miniature damp forest. “Ten,” I lifted my head and started walking towards the direction I assumed Sarah had taken. I roamed past tall bushes and low branches, looking for footsteps in the wet mud. No rushing for me - I knew each and every shortcut in this garden. My dead twin sister, Aarie, couldn’t even beat me in this game when she was still alive.

Seventy minutes passed, and still no sign of Sarah. I frowned at the thought. She couldn’t have beaten me in this game. I shuffled my way to the other side of the garden where we could see through the gates to the field the children were playing. But there was still no sign of her. I went into the garden to search for her and found one of her pink shoes muddy and wet on top of a branch of an apple tree. I frowned deeper. Aarie’s shoes were hung on this tree the day she died. And I was the one to find her body at…

I walked around the cripple old apple tree, and again, found another body pinned to the trunk of the tree with sharp rocks. Sarah’s eyes were gouged and cuts covered most of her body. I also noticed her missing tongue, just like Aarie. I gazed at the body for a while, my mind churning with thoughts a mere five-year-old wasn’t capable of.

Maybe I should have warned her in the first place.

However, like I said, no one could beat me in this game.

***

Didn't You Ever Wonder?

2010-05-07T14:21:00.004+08:00

Didn't you ever wonder, how things could have really been?
If you never walked away and my pain you would have seen.

Didn't you ever wonder, why I stopped confiding in you,
Why every night I'd cry all by myself, tortured by the truth.

Didn't you ever wonder, how much a difference you'd have made,
If you stopped and listened once, understood and maybe stayed.

Didn't you ever wonder, why you never caught me smile,
And even when I did, it never lasted a long while.

Didn't you ever wonder, if I actually moved on?
Or did you just assume that things were great, when it had just begun.

Didn't you ever wonder, why I could never look to your eyes,
And the reason why is because inside I can feel myself die.

Didn't you ever wonder, if I needed you again?
Or did you just choose to leave me and deprive me of a friend?

Didn't you ever wonder, why I couldn't let it go?
Now you can wonder all you like, because you'll never get to know.

-- Adapted from the net.

Relatable to a whole bunch of people I guess.

Thanks for making my life colourful - with dull colours that bring out the brighter ones.

P/S There're something I don't wanna lose - you're one of them. Have fun hating, but be back soon ♥

Friendships Come and Friendships Go

2010-05-07T14:16:00.003+08:00

Friendships come and Friendships go Like wave upon the sand

Like day and night

Like birds in flight

Like snowflakes when they land

But you and I are something else

Our friendship's here to stay

Like weeds and rocks and dirty socks

It never goes away!

Whining~

2010-05-01T22:02:00.000+08:00

I don't wanna sit in class, but I don't wanna come out from class either.

I don't feel like talking, but I still do.

I don't wanna argue, but i joined debate.

I wanna save money, but I don't have the heart to stop smsing.

I don't wanna be whiny, but yet I still post this piece.

I don't wanna annoy you, but I still spam your dashboard with this.

This is pretty pointless I know.

Now I Remember Why Chinese New Year is Never My Thing

2010-02-17T13:03:00.000+08:00

I mess up knowing that I've still got my family I can turn to whenever it hurts too much. I was wrong.

Liar liar pants on fire.

How naive of me to think that I can escape the bad-mouthing received by someone older in the family. I like to think life is not all bad, that there will always be a rainbow after every rain.

NAIVE, ja.

It surprised me to receive such a thing from this unexpected source. She shouldn't have done it right behind my back; at my house; in front of my kakak. But she did. And I had wished that I never knew. At least, to make the annual family gatherings less miserable for me.

It loathes me to think of all the compliments they threw at me and all the smiles on their faces, when later I found out they were all faked.

I thought Chinese New Year is supposed to be happy.

I attended a family gathering of my father's friend that Monday. We were the only outsiders there. But what I heard that day made me smile. After digging in their wonderful home cooked buffet, the brother of my father's friend -- whom we didn't know at all -- came and happily exclaimed to his brother, " Aha! It's great that you invited these kind of people! I like those who eat and eat!" (In Hokkien) Then he turned to my parents and winked, "You happy, the cooks also happy."

I wished that I could bring that generosity home. : )

朋友

2010-02-13T16:12:00.003+08:00

Am appreciating, guys =D

这些年一个人

风也过雨也走

有过泪有过错

还记得坚持甚么

真爱过才会懂

会寂寞会回首

终有你终有梦在心中

朋友一生一起走

那些日子不再有

一句话一辈子

一生情一杯酒

朋友不曾孤单过

一声朋友你会懂

还有伤还有痛

还要走还有我

Yeah, I'm tired of my moods too.

2010-01-31T18:55:00.000+08:00

Sorry to everyone who notices and even more sorry to those who have to face me.

Sorry for not being able to cheer up, as you people often put it together. Don't ask me why I have them. I really hate rummaging in my head for irrelevant things. It's not that anybody cared anyways.

By the way,

EMO x SOLITUDE

If I'm suffocating you, sorry. But I won't mind if you ignore me.

Go on, shoo. Forget about me. Have fun.

The Real Deal

2010-01-15T14:43:00.005+08:00

I stopped hating Fridays when I entered secondary school. And seems like I'm gonna start hating Fridays again.

People go to school to learn
While most of the people attend tuitions
Why can't life be simpler?
And leave me alone with my vernier calipers.
(There we go, a lame poem that won't stop nagging at me. So... Bear with me.)

My mom told me I need time to get used to being a Form Four student, with all the new syllabus and formats. Am I the only one with this problem? Gah, I don't care. It doesn't change anything. Tuitions still need attending.

My schedule on Fridays:
9.30am - 11am Piano
12pm - 12.30pm Violin
5pm - 7pm Bahasa Melayu (Gotta be there at 4pm, bloody crowded)
8pm - 10pm Additional Mathematics

Which leaves me only about four hours free at home. Which I have to spend on doing homework. Or maybe grab the computer from my sisters/mom for ten minutes.

Waste of fuel, waste of time, I can't even hear the teachers over the crowd.

Physics at Tan Kim Siang's

I asked Victoria to reserve a place for me since I had latihan rumah that Thursday. I never thought I could be earlier than her. The electricity weren't available at that time. Quote from someone I forgot, "Wahh, romantic lo." I placed my bag at the second table and went out for fresh air. Then I saw Victoria and Xiao Si arriving in a shiny Honda Civic.

To tell the truth, the place I booked for us? They were already taken. (A notice clearly stated on the wall, "NO SEATS BOOKING".) And, well, the occupants weren't there too. When they came back though...

Sometimes I wonder whether Victoria's human. Even when we almost got chased out from the table, she can still smile like an angel (literally). When we were, she's still smiling. (=DDDDDDDDDDD)

No seats left. We sat in the first row. With a bunch of guys.

... That's it. Crowds suck. I wanna self-study.

What Crap?

2010-01-13T20:26:00.001+08:00

I had something to blog about. I did. But then I'm an easily distracted person. Distracted; forgotten.

If you don't TRY to crap, how would you know that you don't have anything to crap about?

Something I found on Ryo's blog. A shot to the head, that was. Incidentally, that was what Clarissa said to me two years ago. Minus the "crap" part, of course. However...

No matter how hard I try, I just can't make myself post my thoughts. They are not special, yet they are still mine.

You'd say I don't give chances for people to know me better; I'd say I don't want to.

I'm unfriendly.

So RAWR.

Fear me.

So Long?

2010-01-10T21:53:00.011+08:00

"Diminta semua pengawas Pusat Sumber Sekolah berkumpul di Pusat Sumber Sekolah selepas pengumuman ini. Guru-guru di dalam kelas sila benarkan mereka keluar kelas. Sekian terima kasih." The announcement rang.

Chairs moved and dragged on the polished cement floor yet they weren't mine. Why aren't they mine? Duh, because I have only one butt. Okay okay, sorry, back to topic.

Simple. I'm no more a librarian.

I "converted" into becoming a * cough*blood-sucking*cough* prefect some time ago due to greed. Retribution, maybe. Now I'm stuck to being a prefect. Rah rah rah.

That didn't stop me from loving the library though. It was my hiding place; my sanctuary; my treasure chest; and all those fairytalewhateverwhatnots. Maybe some of the librarians noticed, but the empty space below the staircase to Bilik Ulangkaji is quite a nice spot for crying. I planned to venture into the small space when I have the time to freak the librarians out. I guess plan failed.

Lol.

Lots of things happened in my duty session in both Form One and Form Two.Form One:
A senior (and also kinda rude) librarian dared me to fight him during duty. Gah, I wanted to fight him badly. But then I had to take care of my reputation in school since my mom is teaching there. Well, so is his. But what the heck.Form Two:
Same senior fought with the gay Ketua Sesi for Monday duty. Mind you, I was already a pacifist at that time. Then some time later, the Ketua Sesi fought Pn. Lai. I was dragged into the fight rather randomly. Resulting in a two-hour lecture by my mom at home.Thank you, you big fat p-*ahem*

Oh did I mention that I was a prefect by Form Two already? Ah well, who cares.

But the joy of being in control of the library while it was empty was undeniably soothing. With the freezing air-conditioner put to its maximum, they sat there (my fellow librarians) while I simply roamed around the musty book racks, touching the old bindings of books and relishing in tranquility. That was internet to addicted net-surfers for me.

But people have to grow. So I did. No more grasping the past at my fingertips. Let go.

No more answering awkward questions on why am I still persisting in working in the library after I resigned.
No more reason for them to raise an eyebrow.
No more reason for them to laugh behind my back about how childish I am.
No more musty library silence.
No more.

New Year Resolutions in Maria Tuesday Class

2010-01-05T22:20:00.001+08:00

On the white board it was written
Of resolutions
And of decisions
Usually made to be broken

1) ME
- Eat my foot if I don't improve in my studies this year
- Try something new
- Try something... spontaneous.

2) MY TEACHERS
- Stop calling me "Rou Rou"
- Decrease the expectations
- Stop mentioning my mom and act like they know me well although I know some of them knew me ever since I was five.

3) PARENTS
- Stop comparing me with others
- Grant me more freedom
- STOP GETTING ADDICTED TO FACEBOOK. It's not fair that I don't.

4) FRIENDS
- (This was on the board already) Don't back-stab me.
- (This one too) Stop gossiping about me.
- Be friends forever!

5) ENVIRONMENTAL CLEANLINESS (epic question, I know)
- Pick up rubbish and throw them into the dustbins...?
- Eat plastics?
- Recycle

...... Sorry, was too bored.

The Mute Violinist - After Editting

2010-01-05T19:55:00.001+08:00

This entry is rewritten by Punk Chopsticks. Thank you, Clarissa ♥

The dark haired girl cupped the apple in her shivering palms and took a delicate bite of its flesh. She smiled gratefully to the boy.

The gentle crunch the girl made as she bit down resonated in his head. What was that feeling, feeling like the first bud in spring? Irrational as it was, the boy felt as if his entire body was suspended by the lacy strings of helium balloons, floating into the stars. Her watery grey eyes shone at him without the slightest touch of disgust but on the contrary, only of depthless gratitude.

The boy whose mother owned a despicable job at a well-known brothel in town and not a single desire to burden herself with the child. This world hadn't treated him fairly and all of a sudden the boy found himself rendered speechless. He knew how to handle loathe and insults well, but affection......

At that moment, the boy understood.

Sitting beside that girl, his gaze traced the curve of her face down to the locks of her long wavy hair.

There and then, the boy made a vow.

A promise from his heart to marry her -- the mute violinist who introduced him into a brighter world.

Guitar

2010-01-02T16:31:00.004+08:00

Here I sit on a garden bench

In a moaning sunshine so I was drenched

Storms to the north

Rain to the south

But tranquility found in a smile

Darkness fell

So did life

Red blood split under the blue moonlight

I found my guitar and started to play

Melody crept into darkness' way

There came a solo

Sweet as honey

Hard as clay

Hair of finest silver

Eyes of emeralds

The voice so glacial

The lips shone red

Clad in white but stained of blood

Its head supported by a metal rod

Its stick-like fingers threw the remains afar

I played my guitar

Its promise to a farmer dear to its heart

Forgotten forever

Like the tail of a wishing star

Its wooden hands stretched and ready to mar

I played my guitar

Silent Night

2010-01-02T16:09:00.002+08:00

Silent night, holy night

All is calm, all is bright

Round yon Virgin Mother and Child

Holy Infant so tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night

Shepherds quake at the sight

Glories stream from heaven afar

Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia

Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night

Son of God, love's pure light

Radiant beams from Thy holy face

With the dawn of redeeming grace

Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

Escapeeeeeeee

2009-12-12T02:43:00.003+08:00

I laughed at my friend when she told me she was bored in KL. At that time, all I could think of is to just GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Funny how things always turn out, eh?

There simply is nothing here to do. I didn't read as I planned to. I don't dare to touch most of the stuff here.

Oh, bloody hell. My blog entry I wrote this afternoon ENTIRELY busted. You know the feeling when you put everything into doing something... Say, for example, you are running and running in the field -- second round-- and suddenly you just stop and sit. Now how does that feel like? Awful. Incompetance really reduces my self-esteem. Sometimes, shock develops.

That made my day.

Thank god I have a patient listener who reminded me -- unintentionally -- to stop being so immature. I hereby thank him with my heart, with a promise that I will grow up and stop being such a baby. Thank you, Ryo. And of course, thanks to my bestie too. For usage of words that exists in my range of vocabulary. Thanks for not confusing me, Claire.

7 December 2009

The car departed at half past two even though we ( my aunt and her hubby, my two cousins who are my aunt's children, my other aunt's daughter, my sister and me) were previously scheduled to head for KL in the morning. Then got stuck in a traffic jam in Perak. Oh, words of advise, don't ever travel with kids -- they're the death of everyone. Slept under the protection of my precious hat in prevention of bad sleeping posse. It worked way better than covering my head with a sarong.

We stopped for tea at Sungai Perak. After filling up our silent but hungry stomachs, we set forth for KL....

... Dang, caught in another jam.

Eventually, we reached Shah Alam at 7pm. After sending my cousin to her gymnastic class (Jeez, thought I was busy with tuition? Think again.), my aunt presented us with the most generous dinner ever -- 板面。All of us Kedahians couldn't even finish our mee.

Settled down at 10.30pm. Finally, BED.

Oops, I forgot to mention the chores we had to do before bedtime. One epic moment of my life -- sweeping the floor in front of people! It's humiliating to me, you see. My techniques are all messed up so go figure. What a useless piece of junk I am. I can't even sweep the floor properly.

After all that, finally, PEACE.

In my dreams, yeah. I shared (still do now) rooms with my sister, Evelyn and my crazy cousin, Ah Joo. She wanted to use the laptop I brought here for repair (stupid key fell off, separated by my clumsy youngest sister)....

THE COMPUTER WAS IRRESISTABLE.

Quote, "first day in KL online already dah."

That's just the first day. I've still got thirteen days to go!

The Mute Violinist ( Part One )

2009-12-11T22:14:00.002+08:00

The dark haired girl cupped the apple in her shivering fingers and took a small delicate bite. She smiled gratefully at the boy.

The gentle crunch as she chewed echoed in his head. What was that feeling blossoming like the first bud of spring? Irrational as it was, the boy felt like his whole body was suspended by strings of helium balloons, floating into the air. Her watery grey eyes shone at him without the faintest of disgust but only of depthless gratitude.

The boy was a newspaper boy whose mother had a despicable job at a well-known brothel in town and not a desire to burden herself with the boy. The world hadn't treat him fair either. The boy was rendered speechless. He knew the way to handle loathe and insults well, but affection......

At that moment, the boy understood.

Sitting beside the girl, the boy's eyes traced the curve of her hair to her face.

There and then, he made a vow.

A promise in the heart to marry the girl -- the mute violinist who introduced him to a brighter world.

有多傻-- 张小娴

2009-12-08T19:00:00.000+08:00

当我说，世界上根本就没有无条件的爱,我的朋友说：
“是有的，但这两个人之间要有一点距离，否则便做不到。”

我想起我认识的一个男人，他跟妻子离婚之后，一直还是爱着她。不管她对他多么冷淡，他依然默默祝福她。假使她遇到什么困难，他也一定为她赴汤蹈火。

他告诉我说：
“我相信世上是有无赏的爱，不管现在或是将来，我都可以为她做任何事，我也希望她幸福。”

那么，他以前跟他一起的时候又为什么做不到？

以前做不到，是不是正因为两个人在一起？

如今，隔着遥遥远远的距离，甚至不相见，反而可以留下无私的祝福。

也许，我的朋友说得对，相爱过却又无法厮守的两个人，只有不再纠缠在一起，没有妒忌，也没有憎恨，才会变得伟大些。

天下间的女人也许都宁愿相信世上有无条件的爱，那就好像相信夜空上的星星都是微笑的风铃一样美好。

然而，她也会想，将来有一天，当他身边有了另一个女人，他还能够那样无条件地爱他以前那个女人，做他答应过的事情吗？

真的会有无条件的爱吗？这样的爱却也好像天上的星星一样遥远。某年，某天，某地，当我们抬头仰望无涯的夜空，我们也许会取笑自己有多傻。

--张小娴《收不起的思念》

Soaring Bubbles

2009-11-26T18:39:00.006+08:00

My sister came back home, bringing me a tube of extra elastic bubbles from Singapore. We both laughed. It was in Cameron Highlands a few years ago that we bought tubes and tubes of bubbles of this kind. For the hotel crew, it must have been a nightmare to clean up the whole room of deflated bubbles that don't really just pop and disappear. Once mine was finished, I tried to produce the same type of bubbles using shampoo and glue at home, to no avail of course.

As years passed, I had forgotten the fun I had, just standing there, blowing bubbles and watching them soar up into the sky. And never ever return. Constant farewell, it was, by blowing bubbles. Each and every one of them perfectly round and colourful. And this time, the bubbles are extra elastic! Meaning -- they don't pop easily. But when they do, they left dry glue marks I never have trouble smirking at the mess produced.

The Sun was hanging low and fatigued. Standing outside the gates, I blew the bubbles, again and again. Never tired of observing the soaring bubbles, flying away... Flying away... I smiled and smiled, never hoping to see them again. Pretty as they are, they are amazingly insubstantial.

Just like everything else in this world.

Friendship. Love. Affection. Hatred. Sorrow. Happiness. Hurt... Etcetera. None of these lasts.

NONE.

They materialise in my life like how easily I blow the bubbles. Smoothly. Quietly. There I found pleasure, sadness and a longing I have never felt before.

And like bubbles, they pop eventually. No more.

But they fly. Fly and fly until the end of their puny flights.

I watch them go. Further.. Further... And further...

Twilight fades. I screw the cap of the tube of bubbles. No doubt my neighbour is going to kill me if she finds out I've been indirectly sticking bubbles to her car.

Oh my god, is that her?

Phew, no, it's just my mother calling me for dinner.

2009-11-25T19:29:00.000+08:00

With this hand,
I will lift your sorrrows.
Your cup will never be empty,
For I will be your wine.
With this candle,
I will light your way in darkness.
With this ring,
I ask you to be mine.

--Wedding vow from the Corpse Bride

He Sleeps to Wake Again

2009-11-18T17:51:00.000+08:00

Last day.

Time to say goodbye.

I touched the wooden bookshelf. In front of me, carved into the light-coloured wood, wrote "R and B forever". I smiled my last smile in the next few years. It had been our little joke -- a double entrende. My fingers trailed along the "R". How tempted I was, to carve another "parted" behind those innocent words.

Richard stood on the other side of the bookshelf, looking at me with the same unfathomable eyes the day I broke up with him. "Why are you here?" Richard whispered quietly.

I looked up into his frozen grey eyes and sensed a growing pain in my heart. "I'm just looking for something to read and I thought..." I trailed off and bit my lip.

What could I say? I didn't want to make this any harder for both of us. My grandfather passed away a few days ago, leaving my grandmother alone to fend for herself. After a few pain-staking discussions, my father decided to move in with my grandmother.

That meant leaving Richard.

For days I cried in my sleep, wishing my grandfather was still well and alive. But I was no necromancer. My grandmother needed us.

So, I made a decision so difficult I could feel my heart tear -- breaking up with Richard. That way he could move on and maybe get another girl. And me? Well, let's hope time really heals. One heart broken is better than two.

"Bree, I don't get it," Hurt coloured his deep voice. "Why did you leave me? I love you."

Hidden from his view, my fingers gripped into a book (titled Mister B. Gone by Clive Barker). My heart yearned to hold his hands in mine, to tell him that I was sorry and that I loved him more than anything in the world. However, that could have destroyed all my effort.

"That's the problem, Richard," I hissed the words out as angry as I could pretend to be. "You use the word 'love' too much."

"And I mean it everytime."

"No, YOU don't get it. When you use the word 'love' as easily as you breathe, it held no more meaning."

Trembling, I added, "You're saying it just for the sake of saying it."

By that, I stomped right out from the library door into the blinding sunlight. But in my heart, it was raining. And it would always be raining from that day onwards.

***

"Bree? Wake up! Time for school!" My mother's voice boomed from the bedroom door. I flinched at the sudden loudness. Wait, it's morning already? But I didn't even had a wink yet. Looking at my alarm clock that showed 5:47am, I scoffed and covered my head with the blanket. By "school", she meant my small village school without even a proper library.

Sighing, I got out of bed and picked up the pack of sleeping pills successfully nicked from the drug store. Sleeping pills didn't work. Now what? Maybe I should "shop" for stronger sleeping pills. As plans unfolded in my head, there was sudden click at the window.

I peeked out the window curiously.

How my heart leapt when I saw that Richard, clad in a navy blue raincoat and jeans, was prepared to throw another pebble at the window.

"Richard!" I screamed. Tears of joy flowed down my cheeks. I flung the window open.

Richard broke into a big grin as he saw me. He mouthed my name as if it was the first word he ever uttered in his life. He extended his arms, expecting me to jump right into his lap.

Forgetting that I was on the first floor; forgetting that there was a fnece between us; forgetting that Richard couldn't have known where I'd moved to, I jumped. I crashed onto the metal fence head first, landing on the tar road with a deep gash on my forehead.

There was no Richard to hold me. But in my mind, I was already holding him. I turned to look at Richard, who was laying down and laughing with me. Our laughter merged harmoniously - soprano and bass - when I realised a truck was speeding right at us.

***

The closed-casket funeral was made small back at Bree's hometown in Miami (Bree Carrols May 1992- August 2009 -- May she sleep with angels) Richard's parents arrived to gave their last respect but there was no sign of Richard himself. Richard's mother was as tearful as Bree's parents, as if it was her son's funeral instead of Bree's. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

Bree's mother gave out a choked sob for a reply.

"At least Richard and Bree are together now..." At that, Richard's mother broke down into hysterical cries. Richard's father put his arms around his wife's shoulders reassuringly. "We tried to contact you..." Richard's father said before being harshly interrupted by Bree's mother, "What... What do you mean?" Her bloodshot eyes was demanding.

Richard's mother wiped at her tears, her left hand pointing shakily at a neighbouring tombstone:

Richard Wilson
(January 1992 - February 2009)
He sleeps to wake again

Friends Come and Go. But Watch Out for Those Outside the Window

2009-11-13T15:28:00.000+08:00

Little Abbie stared outside her bedroom window, singing "London Bridge is Falling Down". Her slightly trembling fingers traced down the cotton spine of a faded pink bunny-doll. A pair of dull green eyes stayed unfocused on the dark glass panels.

"London... Bridge... is... fall-ing down..."

The moon shone into Little Abbie's room, illuminating the soft textures of the yellowing furnitures. Abbie's mother stood by the doorway, stiffling cries of horror. "Please, Abbie, come back," she sobbed, tiptoeing her way among piles of rabbit carcasses strewn in the room.

Little Abbie ignored her and continued singing her never ending song.
"Fall-ing down, fall-ing down.."

"Please, I beg of you..."

"London... Bridge... is... fall-ing down..."

Little Abbie paused.

Sensing hope, her mother tried to hug Abbie. But when she stretched out her hands, Little Abbie's head snapped towards her with bloodshot eyes. Little Abbie's lips were bleeding, parched from her reluctance to drink. She grinned and raised her left arm, beckoning.

Her mother let out a sigh of relief. She crossed over the next pile of carcasses. All she wanted to do at the time was to hug Abbie. To have Abbie in her arms like she was supposed to. Tears of relief almost defeated her.

However, when she saw the shadow of a Japanese kid smiling the same toothless smile and waving the same arm in the window glass, her foot was caught. She fell.

"My fair lady"

When she got up her feet and looked around, she gave a cry of terror.

Little Abbie was no more.

Smile. For You and Me

2009-11-01T23:05:00.000+08:00

Once or twice the trees whispered in my ears, that it would end. That this irrelevant universe of mine would certainly disintegrate into none.

When the wind blows sands with storms aglow, drips of water see them go. From particles of dirt formed the ultimate destruction, in which we all hate to know. Centuries of hatred conjured by the gentlest of hands. Oh, tell me, why did it have to end?

In the musty room I saw you weep of loneliness. Beyond reach, yet, so near. Feel my heart of torture, where it stays unexplored. For once it has started beating, but I want it to stop.

When the shadows finally condense, will you be there?
When the wind groans of agony, are we still friends?

You smiled for me in my times of need, I hope I had done the same to you. Silent tears are so common. Sometimes, they flow without reason. Whatever it flows for, choose not to ponder. The truth might not be something you ever wanted to discern.

Footprints embedded on the path I shall trod with gladness and anticipation. All I ask for is the bucket of tools and your helping hand. Life's not a harrasment, it's just lies.

Smile.

For yourself.

And for me.

=)

Semplice Humdrum

Hurling Up *some* Courage for a Post

Another Abbie?

Didn't You Ever Wonder?

Friendships Come and Friendships Go

Whining~

Now I Remember Why Chinese New Year is Never My Thing

朋友

Yeah, I'm tired of my moods too.

The Real Deal

What Crap?

So Long?

New Year Resolutions in Maria Tuesday Class

The Mute Violinist - After Editting

Guitar

Silent Night

Escapeeeeeeee

7 December 2009

The Mute Violinist ( Part One )

有多傻-- 张小娴

Soaring Bubbles

He Sleeps to Wake Again

Friends Come and Go. But Watch Out for Those Outside the Window

Smile. For You and Me

Hurling Up some Courage for a Post