Hurling Up *some* Courage for a Post

Funny I should be posting when it's a busy busy time for celebration (since it's still early, busy time for house cleaning perhaps?)


.. It's not that I have anything to worry about, nobody reads my blog ^^


To make up for the hiatus (due to excessive low self-esteem reading my friends' blogs, which are... Simply brilliant), I shall now crap about myself -- A little something I'd like people to know but won't bring it up during casual conversations.


Let's see.


Chinese New Year. I've been subtle about this, but honestly, I don't mind the lack of atmosphere. Walks down the memory lane reminded me only of the never-ceasing noise that the adults seem to like very very much.


Reunion.. It's not like we're living too far away, is it? I'm sure I'll be curling up and eating my foot one day when I'm older about this, but for now this is this.


Firecrackers. I'm not much into law-abiding -- not much otherwise either -- but can anybody tell me what's so fun about popping your ears/nerves/heart out with the sprinkly explosive stuff?


Chinese new year songs -- the final straw that killed the camel. I need earplugs.


Ah yes, the buoyant purchasing of new year clothes. I hate shopping. Gah, hope I'm not jinxing myself as my mother always say, "not yet not yet~"really, clothes? Yeah, they protect from nudity and keep you warm warm, but to buy new ones every new year? I wish I celebrate Thanksgiving.


House-cleaning. Not something I would complain about - hey, somebody has to do the job yeah? I just happen to be a tweeny bit unlucky this year, my kakak balik kampung already. My parents aren't making it easier either. It's always fun and easy when you're the one handing out orders right?


Well, that's it. Nothing much I can say. If I have the heart and time though, I'd like to post some more. Hope this will be a stepping stone for me to continue talking to myself in electronic form :)


Signing off meekly,
Abby

Another Abbie?

I don't know why I wrote two versions of the Abbie story, found one after a lot of rummaging in my old files. *shrugs* I might as well post it here up on this rusty blog.

***

“Sarah, what are they doing in the rain?” I asked my dear but bored friend, looking out through the tinted window.

“Soccer, Abbie,” Sarah answered in her most pleasing tone, but she couldn’t hide her dismay of staying here in this room with me. She kept on banging the dolls Father gave me onto the heavily carpeted floor as if I couldn’t see. I didn’t blame her. After all, it was my fault she was stuck here in this boring room with me.

I sighed, sitting by the window and just watching the children having the time of their life while Sarah and I just rot here. One of the boys kicked the ball high up into the pouring sky, passing the ball to another boy waiting eagerly at the other side of the field. The sight gave me an idea.

“Sarah, you wanna play?” I asked with a small smile. An annoyed what-now look appeared on her face before being washed over by feigned interest. I ignored her and pointed to the garden outside my house.

“But it’s still raining,” Sarah protested mildly.

I shook my head. “Come with me,” I said and pulled her up, dragging her all the way from my room, the stairs, the kitchen, and finally, to the backdoor. She motioned to me my Mother, to which I assured her that she must be resting in her room. Then we were out into the wet garden. The rain couldn’t penetrate through the un-kept branches there, but it was still wet nonetheless.

“Abbie, what are you doing?” Sarah asked fearfully, as I cracked open the little gate to the garden. “We’re going to play to play a special hide-and-seek in this garden. You’ll hide and I’ll seek. But this time, you have to go out from the other side of the garden. If I manage to catch you before you can reach the other side of the garden, I win. If I can’t, well, you win. Understand?” I explained. Albeit unwillingly, Sarah nodded.

“Alright, I’ll count to ten,” I hid my face in my arms under a big willow and started counting the numbers. Sarah, although reluctant, ran towards the deeper part of the garden. Her footsteps were as clear as knocks on a hollow tree bark to me in this miniature damp forest. “Ten,” I lifted my head and started walking towards the direction I assumed Sarah had taken. I roamed past tall bushes and low branches, looking for footsteps in the wet mud. No rushing for me - I knew each and every shortcut in this garden. My dead twin sister, Aarie, couldn’t even beat me in this game when she was still alive.

Seventy minutes passed, and still no sign of Sarah. I frowned at the thought. She couldn’t have beaten me in this game. I shuffled my way to the other side of the garden where we could see through the gates to the field the children were playing. But there was still no sign of her. I went into the garden to search for her and found one of her pink shoes muddy and wet on top of a branch of an apple tree. I frowned deeper. Aarie’s shoes were hung on this tree the day she died. And I was the one to find her body at…

I walked around the cripple old apple tree, and again, found another body pinned to the trunk of the tree with sharp rocks. Sarah’s eyes were gouged and cuts covered most of her body. I also noticed her missing tongue, just like Aarie. I gazed at the body for a while, my mind churning with thoughts a mere five-year-old wasn’t capable of.

Maybe I should have warned her in the first place.

However, like I said, no one could beat me in this game.

***

Didn't You Ever Wonder?

Didn't you ever wonder, how things could have really been?
If you never walked away and my pain you would have seen.

Didn't you ever wonder, why I stopped confiding in you,
Why every night I'd cry all by myself, tortured by the truth.

Didn't you ever wonder, how much a difference you'd have made,
If you stopped and listened once, understood and maybe stayed.

Didn't you ever wonder, why you never caught me smile,
And even when I did, it never lasted a long while.

Didn't you ever wonder, if I actually moved on?
Or did you just assume that things were great, when it had just begun.

Didn't you ever wonder, why I could never look to your eyes,
And the reason why is because inside I can feel myself die.

Didn't you ever wonder, if I needed you again?
Or did you just choose to leave me and deprive me of a friend?

Didn't you ever wonder, why I couldn't let it go?
Now you can wonder all you like, because you'll never get to know.

-- Adapted from the net.

Relatable to a whole bunch of people I guess.

Thanks for making my life colourful - with dull colours that bring out the brighter ones.

P/S There're something I don't wanna lose - you're one of them. Have fun hating, but be back soon ♥

Friendships Come and Friendships Go

Friendships come and Friendships go Like wave upon the sand

Like day and night

Like birds in flight

Like snowflakes when they land

But you and I are something else

Our friendship's here to stay

Like weeds and rocks and dirty socks

It never goes away!

Whining~

I don't wanna sit in class, but I don't wanna come out from class either.

I don't feel like talking, but I still do.

I don't wanna argue, but i joined debate.

I wanna save money, but I don't have the heart to stop smsing.

I don't wanna be whiny, but yet I still post this piece.

I don't wanna annoy you, but I still spam your dashboard with this.

This is pretty pointless I know.

Now I Remember Why Chinese New Year is Never My Thing

I mess up knowing that I've still got my family I can turn to whenever it hurts too much. I was wrong.

Liar liar pants on fire. 

How naive of me to think that I can escape the bad-mouthing received by someone older in the family. I like to think life is not all bad, that there will always be a rainbow after every rain.

NAIVE, ja.

It surprised me to receive such a thing from this unexpected source. She shouldn't have done it right behind my back; at my house; in front of my kakak. But she did. And I had wished that I never knew. At least, to make the annual family gatherings less miserable for me.

It loathes me to think of all the compliments they threw at me and all the smiles on their faces, when later I found out they were all faked.

I thought Chinese New Year is supposed to be happy.

I attended a family gathering of my father's friend that Monday. We were the only outsiders there. But what I heard that day made me smile. After digging in their wonderful home cooked buffet, the brother of my father's friend -- whom we didn't know at all -- came and happily exclaimed to his brother, " Aha! It's great that you invited these kind of people! I like those who eat and eat!" (In Hokkien) Then he turned to my parents and winked, "You happy, the cooks also happy."

I wished that I could bring that generosity home. : )

朋友

Am appreciating, guys =D

这些年一个人

风也过雨也走

有过泪有过错

还记得坚持甚么

真爱过才会懂

会寂寞会回首

终有你终有梦在心中

朋友一生一起走

那些日子不再有

一句话一辈子

一生情一杯酒

朋友不曾孤单过

一声朋友你会懂

还有伤还有痛

还要走还有我